4 Tips to be Decisive – Let Go of Fears and Regrets

Psychologist Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. suggests that being indecisive in life can be a hindrance. An inability to make decisions leads to missed opportunities and potential failure in our goals. Decisions are, of course, not always easy and certainly should not be rushed.

There are extremes when it comes to decision making with some people struggling to make choices while others plow through blindly without thinking. Therefore, it is crucial to avoid overshooting a more decisive attitude to life and blundering into bad decisions. 

Don’t Be Afraid to Fail.

One of the biggest mental blocks we face when making decisions can often be our own fear of failing. Failing can make people disappointed, angry, frustrated, regretful, and sad. Psychologist Guy Winch Ph.D. suggests that some people are so afraid of failing that their motivation to avoid disappointment overrides their motivation to succeed.

If you are afraid of failing, you may shy away from important decisions, which is not a good thing. It is essential to let go of this fear to reach a new understanding of what failure is. Everyone who has achieved success in this life has encountered failure. It’s an unavoidable circumstance and should be viewed as a learning experience. Making a choice and failing is just education for the next choice you make. 

Focus on Now

When being more decisive, it is vital to focus intensely on what is happening right now. Some people may dwell on the past and situations which have no bearing now. For example, some people avoid marrying because they see their parents’ union fall apart. The fear of someone else’s failure can sometimes affect our decisions.

It’s not just the past that affects our decision-making; sometimes, an unrealistic view of the future can do so as well. Over planning something can lead to irrational assumptions regarding your decisions. 

People may shy away from making decisions because they attach unrelated consequences. For example, someone who wants to be a doctor but is worried their workload will be so high they won’t have time for a family. Focus mainly on the now, not the past, and not an overly planned out future. 

Slow Down to Ease the Fear

Slow and steady wins the race. It may seem like a cliche saying based on a childish story of a tortoise and hare, but it is more than that. The message is essential; rushing into something can lead to more mistakes. When mistakes happen, this can lead to failure, and of course, it leads to indecisiveness for those who fear this.

Unless you are a firefighter, police officer, medical professional, or armed forces member, your decisions will seldom be life and death. Take your time in making decisions. Think them through. Ultimately, taking a step back to consider will lead you to more informed choices and less stress. 

Own Your Decisions

A significant source of anxiety for some people when it comes to being decisive is a fear of letting people down. Sometimes our decisions indeed affect others, and we may have to consider them. It could be parents, friends, romantic partners, or work colleagues. There are, however, plenty of times in our lives where the decision is ours alone and no one else’s opinion matters.

Our parents may think we should be doctors, lawyers, or some other high-status professional. That may not be the thing that is right for us, and ultimately, we have our own lives. Suppose we want to be a chef or a professional athlete; that is our choice. Do not fear others’ opinions if you know the choice is right for you.